J: Did you know turtles breathe through their butts?
(I have yet to fact check this but Hubs immediately classified it as potty talk and shut it down)
*sound of empty cup slammed on table*
L: Ahhh. I love milk. It makes my body scrombler.
Me: What? Scamper?
L: No. Scrombler.
B: What? That’s not a word. Do you mean stronger?
L: I. MEANT. SCROMBLER. *bursts into tears and leaves room*
J: You obviously don’t speak 3 year old, I do, and I knew she was saying stronger.
Me: Well she’s 4.
*lovingly setting steaming dishes of chicken, broccoli, and potatoes on the table*
L: Oh wow Mommy…
Me: I know! Doesn’t it look amaz-
L: You made all the things I hate.
L: Ughhhhh my yips huurt. *slams out of chair to get chapstick*
B: If only Lexi was a chapstick. Then she would never have hurt lips.
B: Where are Juno’s nipples?
Me: In 2 lines down her stomach.
B: Woah. That is too many nipples.
*after a day visiting the local college to watch a men’s basketball game*
J: Does that college have a swim team? Because if it has a swim team I’ll definitely go there. But I still don’t want to do the meets.
B: I’m going there. I’m going there to practice being a police officer who does science. But not like science in a rocket ship, on the moon. Just regular science.
*while talking about a friend who couldn’t come over because her grandfather was sick*
L: Her grandpa is really sick so she can’t come with us.
J: Oh no, he’s in the hospital?
L: No, I didn’t say he was broken. I said he was sick.
J: That’s so sad.
L: Not to me! He’s not my grandpa!
J: You want to know what my real achievement is?
Me: Of course.
J: I shot a basketball. And I missed.
Me: Okay?
J: So I shot it again. And I made it. THREE TIMES. Now that’s achievement.
J: What is ’emotional damage?’
Me: Why?
J: Um. No reason. Just curious. But nevermind.
Me: But where did you hear that term?
J: I don’t know. I forgot, okay? Nevermind.
Me: Well you just lived out the definition. I’ll spend the rest of the night wondering why you’re wondering about emotional damage and now we’ll both be damaged by it.
J: You don’t make any sense.
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It would be tempting to say, “Ah yes, cloacal respiration!” But then I remember my kids saying they learned table manners from your family….
I had to google that! But now I know, thank you! The turtle mystery is solved.
So fun! I can hear this conversation. Miss you all!
Thanks Joan!
I can so hear you saying, “well she’s four.” 😂
I know, it’s so hard not to roll my eyes at my kids. Then get mad when they do it to me!
That was great!😂
Thanks for my Friday morning LOL!
Amazing!!
Hilarious!!