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Too much lush grass on a Saturday

I have to interrupt my regularly scheduled programming to bring you this very important announcement. I had a post planned about swimming but who the heck cares about that when I have news like this:

Yesterday we saw the farmer’s gator going through the field out front. This is not unusual. What was a smidge out of the ordinary was the large black bulk he was dragging behind it.

“Get the binoculars,” I ordered Hubs.

It was a cow. He had hog-tied a cow (is that mixing metaphors?) and was dragging it across the pasture and down into the woods.

I couldn’t look away.

“Is it dead? Do you think this is how they butcher them? I really envisioned it being a more secluded experience, perhaps a tad more industrial? Maybe it’s alive? They are going awfully fast. It’s in the trees. Why are they in the trees? Are they leaving it there? IS IT MOVING?”

Hubs often becomes irritated when I ask questions because I ‘stream of consciousness’ at him and never give time to answer. He has learned to ride out the wave though. He actually left mid stream to get a better vantage point from the front porch. This did not stop me and I proceeded to tap on the glass and continue my barrage.

He reported back that it was a cow, it was not moving, it was assuredly dead, this is not how they butcher them, they moved it to the trees because it was nightfall and they didn’t want to draw predators into their field of livestock, they would probably return in the morning to dispose of it.

I could not get past this and I think we all know where this is going. The next morning I texted the farmer.

“I couldn’t help noticing you were dragging a cow behind the gator yesterday, what happened?”

I think when you have earned the reputation of calling the farmer to report a cow giving birth it should be no surprise to get a text when caught dragging one across an open pasture.

She replied, “Yes, she died. We think it was from bloat caused by eating too much lush grass.”

Nope, you go ahead, read that one more time: Died from bloat caused by eating too much lush grass.


I read this text exchange to Hubs and he took a deep breath, already preparing for the floodgates to be opened, “you’re about to ask me a lot of questions on how a cow can die from gluttony, right?”

“She died from eating too much? Literally what else do cows do? They eat all day, that’s all they do. We have fields dedicated to this pastime. They have like four stomachs just so they can eat as much as possible. We encourage them to eat to excess in order to fatten them up for butchering. She died from eating too much grass? Was the grass too rich? Was it too green? Was it bad grass? Why aren’t more dying? Are we going to wake up tomorrow with a field full of dead cattle? Did she just lack self-control? Do they not have an internal self-regulation when it comes to eating? Were they not once wild animals with no human intervention and if so how did they not all die from eating too much?”

He had no answers and neither do I. The cow is still down in the trees and I think that might be where it stays. I don’t know how I feel about that, it’s sort of sad but also kind of interesting to see what happens to it. I was walking by the kitchen window in the afternoon and saw a bunch of cows standing in a semi-circle around a different black blob closer up to our fence line. I grabbed the binoculars and studied intently to determine there were 3 calves laying down and several adults standing around them. Of course, they must be dead. What other conclusion can I draw? I stood there for a long time and actually held my breath to keep the glasses from moving so I could determine if it was me or the cows. I eventually saw all three flick their tails and deemed that acceptable proof of life. They’re not there anymore so I must have been correct.

Needless to say this whole experience has given me and these binoculars a new sense of purpose. It has also made me really think twice before going back for seconds at mealtime.

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